In any relationship, communication is an ongoing learning process. We don't always understand the other person, hear what is on the other person's heart, and we find it difficult to work through misunderstandings. We feel hurt, we withdraw, we build walls in an effort to protect ourselves. Our communication becomes strained, sometimes nonexistent. It happens in our relationships with friends, parents, children, and spouses. And it can happen in our relationship with God.

Never is this more true than when we are suffering. When we withdraw from God, when we become afraid to share honestly what is on our hearts, the pain of our trial is compounded by the pain of our isolation from Him. Listen to the heart cries of wounded sufferers who long for healing in their relationship with God:

- Elizabeth, who lost a child to cancer, says, "I guess I'm really disappointed with God. Maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time talking with Him. My prayer life is almost nonexistent right now. How can I, the clay, say to God, the potter, 'I don't like what you've done.' Who am I to question God, to disagree with what He has allowed?"

- David, an Old Testament King of Israel, wrote, "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?"

- Dawn, a mother of young children who has cancer, said, "I can't pray any more. I'm all asked out. I no longer believe He answers my prayers. My only comfort is knowing that other people are praying for me."

Although it isn't our natural response, honest communication can help bring about healing in our relationship with God. Each of these individuals recognized how vital their relationship to God was, and each of them took the risk of approaching God honestly and sharing the pain in their hearts.

As Elizabeth shed her tears over the loss of her son and told God how empty her arms felt, she was reminded that God is her loving Father who longs to hold her. Yes, the pain of her loss was terrible, but next to the pain and nagging questions of why God allowed such a trial was the truth that He loved her and that she could have no greater comfort than to feel the reality of His loving embrace.

King David saw no point in holding anything back from God. Once he expressed his feelings to God, once he got his complaint "off his chest," he expressed what he knew to be true about God. For example, shortly after he wrote, "How long will you hide your face from me," he confessed, "but I trust in your unfailing love . . . I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me" (Psalm 13:5-6). David never allowed walls to build up between himself and God. His honest cries to God are recorded throughout the Psalms. His intimate dialogue with God reflects a deep, personal relationship that God honored. God even said that David followed Him with all his heart.

Dawn was all "asked out" and God knew how weary her heart was. Shortly after she uttered these words, God sent a friend to her side. Together, they reviewed the past several years, recounting all the times God had answered Dawn's prayers. Piece by piece, as they recorded the answered prayers and inventoried the blessings, the wall in Dawn's relationship with God came down. The door to renewed fellowship with her heavenly Father began to open.

Can we be honest with God? Yes! We not only can be honest with Him, we must be because honesty opens the doors of communication. God has great compassion on those who seek Him. "He heals the brokenhearted . . . His understanding is infinite" (Psalm 147:3-5 NASB)."