by Jo Stewart Praw
I recently started chemotherapy again, a five-hour drip in the back room of my oncologist's office. Even with the new drugs, nausea lingers for days, but you muster up the moxie and do what you have to do. In my case, that means getting a fill-up" every three or four weeks-Primo Chemo, $1,500 a quart. It also means finding the humor under circumstances that could easily leave one in a lugubrious state. During three years of cancer warfare, I have found humor to be a good ally. It gives the mind a different perspective on things and helps mitigate the fear. I once went through an experimental gene-therapy program that used cells from mice to carry a virus to the tumors. I told the nurses about my "side effects"-not being able to walk down store aisles where mousetraps were on display, a slowly evolving tail, and a twitching nose. I even wrote a song about craving cheese. On completion of the program, I filled a container with candy and tied a stuffed mouse to the front with a banner that said, "Don't tell the doctor where I am." Humor helped bring out facets of people's personalities that I never would have known. That made the experience a rich one for me. I've devised the following Top 10 List (in reverse order à la David Letterman) of things we cancer survivors can do to pass the time while we're receiving chemo: 10. Juggle bags of saline. 9. Have a contest to determine whose infusion pump can beep the loudest. 8. Play spin-the-bottle with an empty chemo container. 7. Ask other survivors to do "the wave" with you by raising and lowering the footrests on their recliners. 6. Sing "99 Bottles of Chemo on the Wall." 5. Start a line dance and see who can keep their tubing tangle-free. 4. If you're in a bed, see how many times you can raise and lower it before your next bag is hung. 3. Set up an obstacle course and see who can push an IV cart through the fastest. 2. Fill an empty saline bag with your favorite beverage and have a slow-drip drink. 1. Play "Chopsticks" on the keypad of your IV pump. With humor, we can make these "down" times in our cancer treatment noisy, joyous events. Let everyone know this is truly a watershed, a mountain conquered with song and laughter. Reprinted from Coping magazine, July/August 1999. Used by permission."
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